It's too late to apologize...it's too late~~

Thank you for how you behaved and reacted. I thought things were fine because of the way they happened. At first, I was expecting some awkwardness and I doubted on the decision to go over your place. I saw you left when I was there; though I didn't know whether it was on purpose. But after that, it turned out fine. I was really happy.

It's just that after the incident, I guess the crack is always going to be there. No reversal, no recovery, no return to the perfect friendship anyhow. Like a Swarovski crystal ornament, nice to see, good to hold, but once broken, it will not be as flawless and exquisite as before. Although super glue can partially repair it, if and only if the pieces are all found. But I lost one of them.

I apologized, but I don't think it was accepted. But regardless of how it turns out, I still have to say the word "sorry". I'm sorry.

《祝福了》 许茹芸

如果那颗星是你的心情，

欲言；又安静，

疏远；又靠近，

站在你的区域。

我也很安静，

远远看着你，

把想念藏在湿泪的手心。

只怕，不小心，

又会表错情，

以为还有余音。

已经微笑地祝福过了你，

去追求你真正想要的爱。

我可以在时光里检验自己是不是很孤寂。

虽然微笑地祝福过了你，

就不该有遗憾藏在手心，

但我听朋友说你眼中也有忧伤。

如果那朵云，

是我的呼吸，

漂过你窗前，

若打扰了你，

请你不要介意。

世界太拥挤，

以后，会注意，

会治好你要自由的距离。

直到发凝霜，

直到人已轻，

也是一种爱情。

注：原以为一些文字的解释可以挽回当时的感觉，但，绕了一大圈，我才发现，原来就连友情也都难以挽回，更何况是当时的感觉？无心的文字，可能在别人的眼里其实是一种利器。 这道理，我学会了。只是，为什么会是要付那么昂贵的学费？我付不起嘞。

文字的力量果然像水一样，可以维持地球的生命；可以毁灭地球。我的文字一路来都是维持生命的泉源；只是，这次，我的文字变成了无情的大海啸。就像2012里面能够淹没大陆的大海啸。在毫无预警的情况下，方舟难寻，结果带来难以估计的伤害。

海啸若有平息的一天，我希望会有0000年1月1号的到来。

想家

家，是心的栖息地，

心，累了，伤了，闷了，

一回到家就没事了。

家，是人的充电器。

看见家里的一砖一瓦，

虽然不是什么富丽堂皇的装潢；

看见家里的烂沙发，

更不是什么华丽的意大利名设计沙发。

但，躺下去的感觉胜过紫禁城里的龙椅。

昨晚，

爸妈打电话给我，

他们的第一句话令我于心有愧。

“哇，你几天没有跟我们联络了？

我们想你想到要哭了你知道吗？”

虽然，

语气是开玩笑的，

可是，

经过我的大脑分析后，

我感到惭愧。

真的很惭愧。

因为这两个星期的情绪波动很大。

应该说，我就像坐在过山车一样。

情绪的波动，

让我迷失了最初的我。

我很想告诉他们事实，

只是，

不想让他们又为我担心什么。

毕竟，好多了。

我很想跟他们说：

“我也很想你们，我累了。我要回家，却归不得。”

以现状来看，

我应该没有得回家了。

累了，突然累了。

可是，只要我想家，

想着那个我不需戴面具的地方，

我会比较好一点。

还有两个星期，

我会耐心的等待。

爸妈，对不起，

我也想你们，

只是我近几个礼拜有很多事情处理，

一天过一天，

不知不觉地

延迟了跟你们联络的那通电话。

只想说，

我的心永远向着北方海上的一个美丽小岛。

素食先生继续吃菜吧！ooishi desu ne!

素食先生或许因为吃菜吃到腻了，又想尝试新事物，想转转口味，吃牛扒，是顶级的日本和牛扒。于是，便去了一间著名的高级餐厅那里去吃牛扒。

当高级餐厅里的服务生把那盘期待已久的和牛扒捧出来时，他突然因为嗅到牛肉的味道而感到反胃。或许，是吃素吃太久了吧，一时接受不了。

可是，有决心的他还是想大胆尝试，叫那服务生在捧上来。

一刀切下去，看见半熟的牛扒里的血腥，他又有点恶心了。可是，既然点了，为何不试一下呢？或许这次试了以后，发现自己原来爱吃肉，有一个理由去远离那些厌倦的菜哦！

于是，他把叉在叉子上，还有淡淡鲜血色的牛扒放进嘴里咬了几下，发现原来和牛的口感并没想像中的那么完美。牛，始终会有牛的腥味，真是不明白，为何会有那么爱吃牛扒的人。

素食先生以为自己找到了一个很坚固的理由去接受肉类，因为他认为是时候跟菜来个了断。可是，他绕了一大圈才发现，原来，他根本就只爱吃菜！

素食先生最终把咬在嘴里的牛扒吞下肚子。然后说：“不好意思，你还是清掉它吧！它，没有我想象中的那么好吃。。。啊，还有，请为我准备一份龙虾沙拉，还是沙拉最有营养，因为爱吃菜的人永远都是最健康，最容光焕发的！”

“可是，先生，你吃了牛扒，觉得不好吃，为何还要吞了下去？”，服务生一脸充满疑问的样子问道。

“因为，我想让这小块的牛扒提醒我，心想的，想要的，不一定是真实的。谢谢。。。”，素食先生笑着回答。

服务生当然不会明白这个莫名其妙的素食先生，但实际上素食先生自己是最清楚他自己的口味。他，脸上带着淡淡的微笑，自己对自己说：“我，还是比较喜欢吃菜，继续素食。肉类，还是留下次吧！”。

Je veux ton amour, et je veux ta revanche, je ne veux pas être des amis.

It's so ironic that I always love this song of Lady Gaga..."Bad Romance" is so catchy and I fell in love with this song since the first time I listen to it on Youtube. After listening to it a few times, I could sing along so freely. Lady Gaga is a genius. Love at first listening...

I find the lyrics are very creative because it's a special way to express how much you want somebody's love. The lyrics express the feeling that indicates love is "all or nothing at all". If you love a person, love his/her everything, including his/her weaknesses. A bad romance could only be written when love is not passionate enough to accommodate the weaknesses of his/her another half.

The music video is also very special, Lady Gaga's bizzare outfit amazes me. Here's the link of the video. P/S: sorry, I don't know how to embed a video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

Below are some parts of the lyrics which I like very much:

I want your ugly

I want your disease

I want your everything as long as it's free

...

I want your drama

...

I want your love and I want your revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

I want your love and all your lovers' revenge

...

I want your horror

I want your design

Cause you're a criminal as long as you're mine

...

I want your psycho

...

I want your love and

I want your revenge

I want your love

I don't want to be friends

...

This song really applies to me so well. I want your disease, I want your drama, I want your psycho...It's like I know that one day these lyrics would apply to me, funny right?

Lately, songs are my friends. I really appreciate their lyrics so deeply. Just like this song "2 is better than 1" sung by Taylor Swift and Boys like Girls. Really meaningful lyrics.

I hope those people who are unsure of love will gradually realize that 2 is indeed better than 1...

Again, here's the link for the music video f this great song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E231TF4CzU0

讨厌。自己

为什么我那么草食？

婆妈到不行，终日思前想后，想来想去什么都是空。。。

能不能发疯一下？面对自己的感觉，不要用头脑思考行吗？？

Unprecedented things happening on me

Age and time must have changed me a lot, well, gradually. Sometimes we do realise our change but most of the time we just live our life until people come to you and tell you "Hey, you have changed!". Physical changes are, of course, easily noticed, or at least, easier to be noticed than the changes on our thoughts.

I find myself changed a lot ever since I left home and came to the university. A change could be either good or bad. I think change is a part of life and it only stops when you are not living anymore. I have to accept the changes happening to me and anyone around me because it is not my choice to choose whether to accept or to reject them. Most of the time, they just happen without your knowledge, until you realize and start to ask yourself "Why is this happening?". And, I have been asking myself this question lately. I noticed some changes I have yet to experience.

First of all, why am I always so tired? 24 units in one semester is very usual to me, it should not be a problem. I just don't know why I'm tired and what is the cause of my fatigue. Perhaps 8 am classes everyday except Friday? Ya, maybe, as I have problems with waking up in the early mornings and I crave for sleep a lot.

Then, the feeling of falling for someone often surfaces. I always consider myself as "icy", icy in love, but not in personality. But, lately I start to feel that my ice is melting as North pole is melting due to global warming. Heart warming alert?